|
Domestic violence is an act of violence
committed by one family member against another family member living in
the same house. It is more common than we realize. Many women or
children fall victims to domestic violence from their husbands/live-in
partners or parents. The abusers often feel that they are in control
and they have the power to inflict violence.
Types of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence can occur in different
forms.
1. Physical abuse - beating, pushing, punching, kicking, throwing
objects at or worse still, strangulating the other family member.
2. Emotional abuse - humiliating or belittling another family member to
make him/her feel worthless.
3. Sexual abuse - forcing sex on the partner or attacking the sexual
organs of the other party.
4. Isolation - restricting movements or forbidding one from visiting
family members or friends.
5. Threats - threatening to hurt, kidnapping or harming the children,
as well as threatening to commit suicide.
Why Does Domestic Violence Happen?
1. Self-Centeredness
The abusers are often the "controller" and "decision maker". They only
think of them and neglect others’ needs. They go all out to gain power
and control over their family members, and this includes the use of
violence.
2. Social Belief
The abusers often believe that men play the dominant role in a family.
They feel that women should listen to and follow what they instruct.
They also deny the women’s right to do decision-making such as going to
work.
3. Family Upbringing
A lot of the abusers are actually brought up in a "violent home
environment". They may be victims of domestic violence as a child and
has learnt the violent behavior from their parents.
4. Psychological Disorders
Some abusers are truly sufferers of psychological disorders such as
personality disorders. This has resulted in them having severe mood
swings, tendency to lie, sexual misbehavior, substance abuse or
suicidal idea.
Effects of Domestic Violence to Children or a Family
1. The children from a violent family often are anxious, fearful,
insecure and dependent. Most children suffering from domestic violence
have problems at school (e.g. truancy, poor academic performances etc).
They are also easily frustrated with trivial matters and they
demonstrate deep anger temperament which may later lead to violent
behavior.
2. The women (if she is the victim) often lack confidence and have very
low self-esteem. They feel shameful of themselves. They also feel
guilty for their "wrong-doings" and they feel helpless when they can’t
"protect" their children from being harmed. All these negative thoughts
may sum up to result in depression or suicidal thoughts.
3. Domestic violence is a crime. The abuser, once convicted, will be
punished by the law.
Seeking Help for Domestic Violence
It takes courage and strength to seek help but the victim needs to
understand that he or she and the children have the rights to be free
from violence. These are steps you can take if you think you are being
abused:
1. Seek help.
2. Break the silence and tell someone about your situation. Talk to
relatives or friends about the incident.
3. Call or visit the local help center or relevant social welfare
organization.
4. Seek a temporary shelter when you feel that you or other family
members (e.g. children) are threatened or are at risk.
5. Understand that the abuser is at fault - not you.
6. Last, remember that you are not alone.
Tips for Leaving a Violent Home
1. Keep a bag of essentials (e.g. social security card, birth
certificate, passport, driving license, cash, valuables, bank book,
credit card, insurance policy, clothes, house and car keys) in a safe
and hidden place.
2. Plan a safety route in case you have to leave the house suddenly,
e.g. make sure you have the house keys to leave the house if the door
is locked.
3. Keep important contact numbers with you at all times, these include
close relatives, friends, police and hospital.
4. Prepare to take the children with you especially if they are young.
You may be denied access to them later if you leave without them. The
children may also be used by the abuser as a threat for you to return
home.
|
