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The aims of child discipline certainly
are not to form children into automatons responding mechanically to
commands. Rather, child discipline should be regarded as a procedure
that will enable young children to learn to internalize controls
gradually while feeling free to express themselves.
Child Discipline for Positive Behavior
A child whose discipline is too strict
will feel inhibited in his attempts to express himself for fear of
reprisal. At the same time, a child who has had no reasonable limits
set may feel anxious about his own omnipotence and may express his need
for controls by escalating his negative behavior in attempts to have
limits set for him.
During normal development, there are many personality crises that
concern parents, most of which usually are transient and seem to
resolve themselves in time. Food jags, thumb-sucking, toileting lapses
are but a few that are part of normal development. Others,
hyperactivity for one, do not seem to pass away with time. Some may
require guidance from a pediatrician or other professional to lessen
the likelihood of later serious problems.
In the field of child behavior, discipline technique is one of the most
widely discussed topic. Experts view discipline as guidance that
corrects, molds, strengthens, or perfects child behavior. It should
enhance the child's ongoing learning of socially useful behavior.
Discipline is something you do "for" and "with" your child,and not "to"
him.
Spanking as Child Disciplinary Method
All child-rearing authorities agree that
only under the most extraordinary circumstances should a parent spank a
child before the age of two-and-a-half. Some recommend no spanking at
all. A parent saying "l told you not to hit" while administering blows
to her child's bottom is incongruous. (However, with older children and
in certain situations, other experts believe a good swat on the
posterior may be just what is called for.)
A more effective alternative to spanking is to reinforce positive
behavior, i.e., to reward appropriate conduct, and to ignore or
discourage unsuitable behavior. Praise your child when he does
something you approve of or something you have asked him to do. Within
this framework, parents need to establish reasonable and clearly
defined limits that are understood by their child. Children should not
be allowed to harm themselves, hurt other people or pets, or destroy
property. Adult language has to be broken down for the very young to
simple directives such as, "Use the crayons only on the paper",
"Friends are to play with, not hit."
Controlling the child's environment is another helpful way to promote
acceptable behavior. Common examples of this are changing seating
arrangements, removing a toy from the table, etc. In addition, some
rooms in the house may be made "off limits" to children in
consideration of the particular needs of the parents.
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