“My due date is just a couple of weeks away. Some of my girl friends have been telling me how difficult it was for an elder child to accept the new sibling. I am worried. Sameul is now 4 years old, he has been a dear darling to us all these while, how can I prepare him to love his new sister?” Jane, 32 years
Dr. Stork says: Your child is bound to feel pretty distressed and jealous at the thought of a new baby brother or sister and the “dethronement” that he thinks will follow. This is one form of sibling rivalry. Take all the precautions you can to make him feel good about the baby. Refer to the baby as his new sister or brother and let him feel your tummy as the baby grows and kicks. Show him where the baby is going to sleep, and teach him all kinds of helpful things he can do to look after her. If you are having the baby in hospital, make sure your child is at ease with the person who is going to look after him while you’re there. When you come home, have someone else carry the baby; you should have your arms free to scoop your child up and give him a big cuddle. Don’t turn to the new baby until he asks to see her. Make sure that you bring home a present from the baby for him. If you have to stay in hospital, let him visit you as often as you like, and when he does, make sure that the baby is not in your arms, but is lying in a cot at your side so you’re free to hold your child. All these measures will help to reduce sibling jealousy towards the new baby.
Please also read Preparation Before the Baby Arrives - Miscellaneous